& I hope I'm not the only one.

          

 So this is my first post, and I want to sum up what I want my blog to accomplish. I want to search for the answers to questions I have been asking for forever. I know that many people have some of the same questions, and I'm here to think out loud with my input. In doing this, I want to tie in music by including which songs or quotes I relate to that certain post. I would like more than anything to help those who are struggling with relationship questions and how to manage life. So let's start:

[Currently listening: "XO" by John Mayer, "Flowers in Your Hair" by The Lumineers, "Poison & Wine" by The Civil Wars, and "Edge of Desire" by John Mayer]

         We have so many questions to answer in this life. What should I wear, what to eat, what college should I go to, what am I going to do for a career? These questions are always changed, and some will go unanswered. The question I've been battling recently that I want to discuss with you is: WHO. Who is going to be my person, who will I marry, who is THE ONE? I think that this question has been more pressing recent months due to the fact that I am 24, and I look at where our parents were when they were 24. Married, with children, in their career and in their first home. I've already seen many of my friends get engaged, get married, and have children. Every time I open up Instagram or Facebook, there's another couple that is engaged, or a new baby was born. So why do I feel like I am the only one who is not ready to settle down and take on a family? I know that I cannot be the only one out there who wants to build my career, travel, and really take the time to find "my person".
      In this generation, young adults and teens are so focused on being in a relationship. Just look at how many social media and online dating sites people are using now days: Tinder, Match.com, Zoosk, OKCupid, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and the list goes on. If our time is not spent on those sites, then we are watching shows like the Bachelor. How could we possibly get away from this pressure to date and be with someone. Then the relationship ends, and it turns into a vicious cycle of looking for a new relationship. So how can we break this cycle? Well let's start with these:

1. Realize it's okay to be single. 
I understand that all of your friends are in a relationship, and you are going to be the fifth wheel at dinner, again. Believe me, I've been there, and it sucks, but don't lower your standards just to be with someone, because it's not worth it. You don't need someone there to make you a whole person and if you are just using that person as a crutch to not be alone, that's not fair to them. 
2. Have SOME kind of standard. 
This point ties in with point #1. Don't settle for someone just because you don't want to be single or the-odd-man (or woman) out. Of course you are going to grab onto the first person you see if you are desperate, so please don't. Think of what you want in a person, and stick with those qualities.  
3. Get outside 
Get out of the house every once in a while. Go to the gym and get your endorphins flowing. The longer you sit inside and think about how much you "need" to be in a relationship, the worse you are going to feel and you will spend more time thinking about your recent break up or your last relationship.
4. Go out with friends
Again, get out of the house and hang out with your friends. Even if they aren't your single friends, let them know you want to spend some time with just them. This will keep your mind busy and you will at least get some laughter in your day which is always a good thing!
5. Write it out
Start a journal, a blog, or talk with friends! Whatever works for you, just get your emotions out. Don't let your thoughts swirl around in your head for too long. Get them out and move on. Everyday is a new day with a fresh beginning.
6. Focus on yourself
I know this last point might sound a bit selfish, but really, focus on yourself for once. If you are going through a recent breakup, give yourself some TLC and positivity. This in itself will turn into an endless cycle, but this is a good cycle. When you think positive, you put out positive, and then you feel positive about yourself. Don't fill your head with negative thoughts about why the relationship ended, or why you are not in a relationship. Build yourself up to be the strong, independent person that you are. 

To sum it all up, if you want to be with someone, date them because you like them for who they are, not because you are trying to get over your ex or because it's the cool thing to do. Come to the realization that a recent breakup is a difficult thing to go through, but you can get over it on your own (and maybe with the help of your friends).  



Love, J. ♥